Pure Manaʻo

Our family is on the Wii Fit train, which just means that we found an excuse to play the Wii on school days. Basically, the Wii Fit is a plank or board that you stand on and it weighs you, tracks your BMI and basically tells you that you're either obese, overweight, normal or underweight. Warning, if you have a large TV (ours is pretty decent), in large letters, this machine will show your weight and BMI. If you're like the majority of my family, it will also tell you "that's obese!" in a cutesy, irritating, little girl voice. Not only that, but indignity upon indignity, your mii (your character on the game) will turn fat!! Once you are done yelling at the tv ( "no S&%#, you think I do know I fat?!") it encourages you to train by choosing exercises like yoga, strength, aerobics and balance "games." The only person that is normal in our family is Ahi, and lazy buggah actually figures out how to cheat so that he is the only one not breaking...

Ken and Pono, our youngest, come home from cub scouts and right away Pono says, "Mom, dad says I have to ask you." Me: Yes? Pono: What's afterbirth? (Of course I'm eating dinner, but Pono says, Dad said it's the sack for the baby. Did it hurt? Me: Did having you hurt? Yes. Did the afterbirth hurt? No. Where is this coming from? Is that what you guys were talking about at cub scouts? (Ken's the pack leader - I know he was spending this afternoon trying to figure out what he was covering tonight, but come on.) Pono: You know that chant about Papa and Wakea? Me: Yes, (now Ahi's getting involved in the conversation from the other room, I hear him chanting) O Wakea noho ia Papahanaumoku Hanau o Hawai'i he moku Hanau o Maui he moku . . . Pono: The end of the chant says that Kaho'olawe is the afterbirth. I wanted to know what that was. Ahi: He 'ula a'o Kaho'olawe - oh yeah, I guess so, afterbirth. Me: H...