Battle of the Sexes

Ok, it's not a battle, but after being married for 20 years, I realize that there are some things that fall into the "mom's job" category, and there are some things that are strictly dad's domain.

Mom's job is to find things. For 20 years I have lived in a male dominant household. The fact that the majority of the toilet seats in my house remain in the down position is a testament of the power of the one and only alpha female. However, what I can't do is teach my children (and my husband) how to do what I call "mom looking" versus "man looking." I don't need to explain this for the moms. They know exactly what I'm talking about. The guys are slower to catch on. I'll type s-l-o-w-l-y. Here's a typical "man looking" conversation:
"mom! (or Cat!), where's the ______ (insert anything from socks to the car)?"
"It's in the _________ (insert my instructions like refrigerator, garage, on the kitchen table, etc.)."
After a quick glance around, "Where?!"
My answer "Right in FRONT of you. Look around! Move things around."
Man looker answer, "It's not here. . .I can't find it. . . where?" (Mind you nothing has been moved around, just clueless male species looking around the thing that is literally right in front of their face.
My answer, "If I have to stand up and get it for you I'm going to ______________ (insert horrible death-like consequences)."

There are other equally important mom jobs like multi-tasking (cooking dinner under half an hour while folding laundry and paying bills, all while talking on the phone to our own mothers and checking homework and signing the planners). Other mom jobs: hiding money so that we actually have money saved for a rainy day, testing the milk to see if it's spoiled, organizing the linen closet every summer, and pulling new clothes out of the closet and passing them off as something we've had for a long time.

However, Pono, our almost 11 year old just reminded me the other day that there are some things that only dads can do, and one of them is to have very erudite and well thought out, philosophical answers to their sons' most pressing life questions. Case in point: we were watching the movie Dodgeball during dinner and the characters are trying to raise money to save their gym. One of the characters suggests that they sell their sperm.
Pono: "what's sperm?"
Mom: (suddenly has the urge to check on the jello)
Dad (after quickly pondering that great philosophical question and deeming the question a rite of passage teachable moment kind of question): "it's semen"
Pono: (nothing, he keeps eating).
And that is what only a dad can do.

Kino (an indigenous logic model): post 1 of 4

Passion I have. What I need is to practice my elevator speeches, those short informative program synopses that can be done in the time it takes to ride the elevator. Of course it will take me 4 posts. Post 1: The honua: building on solid ground The Alana culture-based education course is graphically depicted by the above logic model. The honua (green box), the earth, represents the mo'ok ūauhau, the geneology of this program that informs and guides the building of this course. Dr. Shawn Kanaʻiaupuni and her team lay the foundation for culture-based education (CBE) modeling and immersion within the course. Dr. Walter Kahumoku and Keiki Kawaiʻaeʻa, in consultation with Dr. Bernice McCarthy (4Mat) bring to the geneology the work of moenahā, a curriculum planning concept based on the way kupuna taught. Makawalu, literally eight eyes, is a concept practiced by Kaʻimipono Kaiwi and her teachers at Kamehameha Kapālama to encourage multiple perspectives in the standards-b

5 things that teachers do when they are in all-day workshops

1. Listen attentively for 10 minutes Presenters: welcome to your worst teaching nightmare. Teachers learn how to be antsy from their students. If you have a lot of middle school teachers, expect them to act like middle schoolers, ADHD disorders and all. You have 10 minutes to hook us and we want to get up, move and be active every half hour. 2. Talk to our neighbor while the presenter is still talking This practice is a natural way for teachers to use each other as a sounding board for the connections they are making to their own teaching (or they're just gossiping). If you can't tell the difference between productive noise and idle gossip, you need to go back to the classroom and practice. 3. Text and read posts When speakers talk about another author, or another concept, we get on our smart phones and look up the links so we can expand our knowledge immediately. (Or we're blogging or catching up on our email). Don't be offended. Only kick us out if we don't realiz

The Last Teacher

6/4/24 Anna's last day was Friday, May 31, 2024 She collected all of her gifts and notes from her students Took pictures with her seniors who she had as freshmen four years ago Turned in her keys and walked away from her Georgia classroom made up of predominantly black and brown students who needed her to stay. She is not (really) leaving because of the constant shift of politics/policies/procedures of her school district She survived that. She is not (really) leaving because she suddenly lost her colleague and mentor last year, her marigold. She survived that. She is not (really) leaving because of the overwhelming needs of her students Who continue to need her even after they have left her class. She did this tearfully because she was both too empty and too full to stay another year. She is going to graduate school for counseling in the fall Her next dream is to do horse therapy for children and young adults. She sees this as a failure on her part. She could not stay in th

Anonymous said…

note that the fact that i cooked dinner tonight was somehow left out of that last post...the dad (and it is semen after all)

August 4, 2008 at 10:42 PM

E Cathy...your mana'o is right on! Don't forget the ancient Japanese saying I made up a few years ago, "Me no mae mono, mienai koto." Things in front of your eyes are invisible.
For my own kids, I would always ask, "is the uterus the source of all information? Look for it (whatever the it may be) yourself!!" This command is followed by blue words uttered their breaths, doors slamming, and resonant sighs.
What I am certain is that there is a God of Misplaced Things. When the God is angry (or I am under a lot of stress and send out too much negative energy...irritating the God of Misplaced Things), things get lost...usually important things like my wallet, large amounts of cash, an important document. I can search and search and cannot find the darn thing. I can turn the house upside down and cannot find the darn thing. I can lose sleep, dream of a possible location, wake up, and dash to the dream location and find that I cannot find the darn thing. When the God of Misplaced Things determines that I have suffered enough, then I miraculously find THE THING. Of course, I always find it in a place I would NEVER, EVER, EVER put it. This is the point at which I think the God of Misplaced Things goes into a full-on, gut-busting laugh fest, guffawing into eternity.
So much for lost things.

August 5, 2008 at 8:35 AM

Liana said…

ALmost peed my pants on that one.

August 5, 2008 at 9:39 AM

Pure Manaʻo

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