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Reality Check

When I have a draft in my post box with just this title, reality check, and I have no idea what I was trying to say, then yes, √, understood. The reality is that I am drifting but really I think I am too focused.

Then I found this

and it is all the guidance and reminder I need to continue on. 
I am off to find some secret notebooks, except that this probably is my secret notebook. 
I am off to pay attention to dreams because the best ideas are the ones I haven't thought of yet. 
Recent posts

How Innocent Questions Can Go BOOM

For the past two years I have been trying to write about creating a space on the University of Hawai'i West Oʻahu campus - what Bhabha calls Third Space and Anzaldua calls Borderland spaces. From my 2017 article on carving out Indigenous spaces:  
Consciousness-raising happens in both a metaphoric as well as a physical space. Third space theorists (Anzaldua 1999, 2000; Irving and Young 2002, 2004) suggest that the creation of "third" or "borderland" spaces can provide the opportunity for creative, novel, and respectful interpersonal relationship dynamics. Anzaldua addresses issues of power and identity in colonized areas, and conceptualizes third or borderland spaces as places or states of ambiguity, of being in-between different "realities" (2000). What these spaces offer are ways for Indigenous me, one of the  2-7% of  Indigenous faculty members in the University of Hawaiʻi system, to create a safe space to have conversations and learn together abou…

What an Ed.D Can & Cannot Do For You

I was asked to talk on the last day of an Ed.D program cohort II at UH Mānoa. I graduated with cohort I so sometimes they invite a few of us back to talk about something. They wanted to know what we did after we graduated, how we changed jobs and what advice we had. I am always the one that doesn't really answer the question, but they ask anyway, so I wrote this poem. I think in poetry form and Linda Tuhiwai Smith did a keynote by reciting a poem using the Green Eggs and Ham structure so if she can do it, then that gives me permission.
Here is what I'm sharing today: What an Ed.D can and cannot do for you One View, One Story
I still come from the mud flats of Kaunakakai the Kūkalahale rains of Mānoa. The ashes and bones of my kūpuna still travel the watery Lahaina Roads in the middle of the ʻAuʻau Channel. My Ed.D does not erase that.
I still come from colonization and isolation, desks lined up in rigid rows, concrete and tile separating my toes from the embrace of grass a…

Words To Keep the Uglies Away

I have personal stories of sacrifice, isolation, less than "ness," bouts of invisibility and anonymity. I have stories of scraping by, feeling self pity, undeserved, under served, passed over, quieted, silenced, voice ripped out. 
I think you do too. 
There are a lot of us: female, parallel cultured (Bishop, R. ), from poverty, highly educated BUT. . .(faking it until we make it - we hope)
When we are very lucky, we have gathered other females like us so that we can feed each other, laugh, cry, mourn and support each other. I call these women the mana wahine. Together we keep the fire of our power burning because we hold kuleana (obligation) for each other. But in the in between times when we are alone and doing the heavy lifting of our own passions, we must chase away the uglies of self doubt and "other" ness alone. 
When I am asked to translate my point of view (as if I were not speaking in English), be less emotional, justify. . .when my"other" ness i…

Using Ohana in Education

Source:  I donʻt know how to cite this. Just look for it on youtube.
What is Sacred: Jason Momoa talks about what is sacred in his own life, how he learns from his children, his mother, his wife, and how he creates the education that his children need.
Connections to Current/Future Work: Aside from his being a beautiful man, let's really just talk about how we reach out to the lessons that students come with from their own ohana and honor that as sacred in our own curriculum.

Writing to Tell a Story

Source:  Meyer, M. (2014). Hoea ea: Land education and food sovereignty in Hawaii. Environmental Education Research 20:1, pp. 98-101. 
What is Sacred:
I really hate writing. I am struggling to finish an overdue article and the word count is SOOOOO long for me. I write poems. My dissertation was under 75 pages and they accepted it and published it. So when I keep getting told that I need to publish articles, ugh. I just want to teach.
But this short article by Manu Meyer gives me a little more hope. It is a very short article that tells the story of the work that her colleagues do. Her job is just to put her name on it and tell the story. 
Maybe I can do that. Just tell the story. Can I do it in poetry form?
Connection to Current/Future Work: Write, dammit. 

The Mask You Live In

It's the end of fall semester, my grades are in. This normally means that I need to start reading again. What happened to my daily reading? I got caught up in all the other things I needed to do like battle traffic, go observe lessons, grade papers, sleep. So this is my day to start it up again and I just spent an hour and a half watching this. It was time well spent.
Source:  Siebel Newsom, J. (Producer, Director). (2015). The mask you live in [Motion picture]. United States: The Representation Project. 
What is Sacred: This documentary is currently streaming on Netflix. This documentary follows young men and boys as they struggle to navigate the hyper masculinity that is American society. It talks about how to raise a "healthier" generation of young men. The consequences of not doing so will continue to create a society where we outlive our children. 
Connections to Current/Future Work:
I definitely want to use this as one of my film study pieces for my introduction to m…