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Olympic Fever

Michael Phelps,
Beijing Summer Olympics '08

I am an Olympics freak. I love the Olympics, from badminton to basketball, synchronized platform diving to singles synchronized swimming. Yes, there is synchronized swimming singles. The Olympics captures all our athletic dreams. When I was in high school, I watched the '84 Olympics and decided that in order for me to be an Olympian, I would need to find a team handball club in Hawaii. I looked it up during my senior year and the national team practiced in Oregon. I never did get to Oregon, but when I watch the Olympics, I still think maybe I could have, if I would have. . . right.
Now that I'm older, unless hanafuda were an Olympic sport, I don't think I could qualify for anything. How about full contact origami? I have anger issues, I could succeed in that. Actually, I've been more interested in watching the parents of the Olympians. I notice that when Michael Phelps wins (so far he has 11 gold medals), he looks for his mom. Maybe I could be a mom of an Olympian! When my kids play sports, they look for me too. Of course they only look for me when they screw up, mostly because despite my passing the mandatory classes in positive coaching alliance (no put downs, no verbs like run, move your *&%, suck it up, etc.), I believe that as long as you're ONLY yelling at your own child, and not someone else's child, that's positive. What did Michael Phelps' mom do to become an Olympian's mom? Whatever it is, I'm willing to do it. I can yell and cheer loudly. I can take people to practice. I can cook special meals. I am an expert at getting stains out of uniforms with naptha soap. I can cut oranges and mix them with li hing mui powder for energy and sustenance. And most of all, I can give very inspiring pep talks (just ask my sons). For example, I personally made my middle son into a better hitter just by my motivating pep talks. It usually started with, "you mean I pay $30 every week, 48 weeks a year, for all these years just so you can get up there and strike out?!Are you kidding me? What are you waiting for? Don't move out of the box, let the ball hit you, take one for the team!" I'm proud to say that my inspiring verbage helped him to move up from 9th batter to 2nd batter. That's good stuff. As soon as the Olympics are over, I'm investing in synchronized swimming singles lessons for Pono. See you in Chicago in 2016.


Maui titah said…
I am fat. I am old. My knees ache, My fingers won't bend. My shoulder is a beehive of pain. I should exercise BUT do I? I do spend a lot of time thinking, exhorting, scolding, and shaming myself into exercizing. BUT do I?
Nope, I continue to live my sendentary life, taking ibuprophen from time to time, and say to myself.."you should really exercise!"

Watching the Olympics is virtual exercise. I get to stay up late and exercise my eye muscles. I get to increase my heart rate as I watch Lezak swim his heart out and come from behind to finish first for the USA relays. I expand my lung capacity as I hold my breath to see if they will make it. I get to exercise my body as I jump up, wave my arms, clap my hands, and shout when Phelps wins (again...multiple opportunities for exercize).

There is a downside to virtual Olympic exercise. I get short of breath just wondering how those swimmer get any oxygen trying to breath in the wake of their tremendous strokes. My knees ache when I see those gymnasts land on their feet after flying 20 feet in the air. The iron cross makes my shoulder throb just watching them.

Perhaps I will never be an Olympian, and I know my kids will never be Olympians so I SHOULD be content to be a fan. Or perhaps, I should become a Glenwood Highway Samaritan and walk along the street in front of our house and pick up rubbish each day so that I can stop those voices in my mind which keep saying, "More exercise, more exercise!!"
Liana said…
HAHA! okay, I was going to comment on Pono and synchronized swimming (the visual is incredible), but reading your Maui Titah's response (she needs her own blog site) just put me over the edge!! Set one up for her!
Blaine said…
Bwahahahaha! Too funny. I was once an AYSO soccer coach. I can say with some authority: You are a soccer mom. Or a baseball mom. A sports mom. Or is that Sports Mom, with capital letters?

Full-contact origami. Hehehe!

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